Mother in love

My biological mother passed away twenty six years ago, when she was younger than I am now. I miss her every day, and no one has ever replaced her in my heart. But this Mother’s Day, I am thinking about the mothers in love who aren’t biologically related to us but nurture us anyway.

Mary Collins comes to mind, the grandmother of the younger Mary Collins whose marriage I wrote about in my last blog. I met the elder Mary shortly after I met my husband, David. She was the mother of his late wife, Karen, who had passed away in a tragic car accident two years earlier.

Shortly after I met her, I attended a prayer meeting with her at the church she attended. One of her friends came up to me. “You’re the wife we prayed David would find,” she said. I realized in that moment that Mary, while grieving the loss of her own daughter, had asked her friends to pray for her son-in-law, David, that he would find a second wife—me.

Then, at our wedding, Mary found me in the sanctuary before David and I said our vows. There I was, in my wedding gown, wishing my own mother was there, while holding the hand of the mother who had lost her daughter. “David loves you for who you are,” she said. “Don’t ever try to be anyone else.”

I had prayed so long for a husband, not knowing I was praying for a man who was married to someone else. That is the mercy and the mystery of God, making unbearable tragedies bearable by the solace he provides, mostly in him but also in each other. I am reminded of Jesus at the cross, when he told John, “Here is your mother,” and from that day on Jesus’ beloved disciple took her into his home. (John 19:27)

Consider if you have such a mother in love, one who either chose you or you chose her. Thank God for the legacy of her life if she’s not with you, or reach out to her if she is. Happy Mother in Love Day!